Thursday, 9 April 2015

Thursdays at the Theatre: Vol. 5

By: Joshua Volkers

As it stands right now, the weather outside in April may be a little bit colder than some would like it to be up here in Canada. So, that means we have to stay inside for at least a few more weeks before we can enjoy any warm breezes. Like I said in a previous entry though, that does potentially give you more time to go to your local theater and check out any new releases you’re interested in, or stay at home and watch some old ones!

Now, the big story in the world of movie news this week was Furious 7’s record-breaking opening; it was a $147 million weekend, and $392 million worldwide, making it the ninth largest domestic opening weekend and the 4th largest worldwide opening of all time, and is expected to go over a billion dollars by the end of its run. That. Is. Crazy. Considering the fact that this is the first in a line of highly anticipated blockbusters, and combining that with having no new competition, the franchise’s rising popularity since Fast Five, and of course the tragic passing of Paul Walker all led to this massive intake at the box office. Now, I’ve been hearing mostly positive things, and when I went to see it for myself I personally loved it, but I have heard some negative comments as well. Heck, I even heard a person say that the movie was particularly racist towards Arabic people, but they also complained about the film having no sense of physics which, if you’ve seen the last two, is a ridiculous expectation to have at this point. Now, I of course don’t think the movie’s perfect - I would have liked to have seen a lot more of The Rock, and I would have preferred a more consistent pace, but I still loved it and the way they payed tribute to Paul Walker as well, so I would give it a very strong 8/10.

Well, with Furious 7 covered, it’s time to look ahead to what’s school-friendly and coming out in theaters for the next couple of weeks! Let’s see here… eh… to be honest, there’s really… nothing. There’s some film called The Longest Ride which is - oh, it’s another Nicholas Sparks romantic drama film. Yeah, I saw the one with the ghost twist at the end, so no thanks. After that we have a DisneyNature documentary called Monkey Kingdom, and the destined classic Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. That’s really all there is, actually - there are a couple of R-rated ones that could be kind of cool, but I can’t talk about those - so, what now?

How about this: look in between the lines and imagine a pair of brown eyes staring right back at you (not in a creepy way). Now imagine a pair of lips moving with words coming out of them. Want to know what those words are? Lean in closer. Come on, it’s just a screen, lean in closer… that’s it… now, listen carefully. Ah, you can listen to those words now:

“Unless you really like monkeys and want to go see Monkey Kingdom, either see Furious 7 again or wait for Avengers. Please. The Longest Ride will suck the joy out of you about an hour in, just like the other Sparks movies, and Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. I needn’t say more, for I have made my case a few times over already.”

Although, we will have to wait and see about those last two films releasing in April on the next volume, but that’s not until later.

Okay, seeing as we’ve gotten the current stuff out of the way, it is time for us to delve into the past and grasp for an older film. Now, I’ve been going for the old classics so far, but it’s time to do something a little different.
Yes, it is the first Fast and Furious film, and my gosh, it is actually pretty shocking to see where the franchise is now. It is certainly more popular, but this is the one that started the whole thing, when it was really about racing rather than planning big heist missions, or anything of the sort. This was one of the first films that put Vin Diesel out into the public consciousness, along with Michelle Rodriguez, and make no mistake about it: the reason Paul Walker became famous was because of this film. It’s not a particularly great film; it’s good, but it can, at times, be a bit more dramatic than it perhaps has a right to be. You could even say it’s a remake of a certain beloved R-rated action/drama film that released nine years earlier, but it’s still good. And that’s a catchy tagline: “Live life a quarter mile at time.” Plus, for anyone who’s really into cars, the movie’s gearhead-centric dialogue will certainly grab your attention.

I believe that wraps up this edition of Thursdays at the Theatre. Not much to talk about with films currently aside from Furious 7, but hey, that’s what I’m here for. If I didn’t give you what was going on in the world of movie releases, I wouldn’t be doing my job, would I? Anyways, I’ll catch you on the next article I write, but if you want more from the blog aside from this or want to catch up on previous editions of Thursdays at the Theatre, why don’t you follow The Titan Times on Twitter and like them on Facebook to stay up to date on everything we put out? Don’t be afraid to leave a comment down below either, so with that said, I’ll see you next time. Stay strong, Titans!

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